


how I met a buff blue goddess.

by an_undead_gamer_45



Series: Rare shadow boi ships. [2]
Category: Monster Prom (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Oz is best boy, Relationship origin, Romance, gotta love those rare ships!, powerful Oz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22474114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_undead_gamer_45/pseuds/an_undead_gamer_45
Summary: Oz is once again dragged along with another one of Amira's hairbrained schemes to seduce damien lavey.In the process, he meets up with a rather large blue demon who has taken a certain liking to the boy in more ways than one.It's the first ever Oz x Dahlia fic folks!
Relationships: Damien LaVey/Red | Amira, Green | Brian/Z'gord | Zoe, Yellow | Oz/Dahlia Aquino
Series: Rare shadow boi ships. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1521902
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	how I met a buff blue goddess.

“C’mon Ozzy, please?” 

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please with a cherry on top?”

“NO.”

“Pretty please with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, spider sprinkles, and-”

“For the last time Amira: I AM NOT GOING TO A HELL BALL!”

It was the late afternoon in Monsteropolis and classes had been out for quite some time now, meaning for once our story does not in fact begin at Spooky High but rather at the home of a shy shadow person, a confident djinn, a blunt zombie, and a peppy frankengirl.

Currently the house was empty save for the former of the two aforementioned monsters: Amira Rashid and Oz.

Currently the red beauty was trying to convince the yellow dork to join her at a special event that she had had the fortune to be invited to: the hell ball, an extremely exclusive party that was a veritable who’s who of sinners and demons that happened only once every hell year.

(which was the equivalent of one year on earth)

To be honest Amira wasn’t too into the whole ‘fancy dress up party’ schtick, outside of prom of course, as she’d much rather spend the night street racing, spraying graffiti, and other forms of high school delinquency.

However there was one reason above all else that she wanted to go: a spicy red baby named Damien Lavey who she had a serious crush on would be there and she wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to show how awesome she was to him in front of all of hell.

The problem? The invitation specified that she had to bring a plus one with her.

Normally she’d ask Brian or Vicky to do this with her since they’d be a lot more down for going to hell with her so she could seduce her crush, as opposed to Oz who tried to avoid such social situations. (something she was trying to change desperately)

Unfortunately for the fiery haired girl, Brian was busy modeling for Zoe’s various yaoi drawings and Vicky was off with Vera to help her take care of ‘totally legitimate business’. Which left Oz as her only option.

“But it’ll be fun Oz! Think of it like a practice prom!” Argued Amira, literally on her knees as she leaned on the couch, arms crossed on one end.

“No way, remember what happened last time you dragged me onto an adventure with Damien?” said Oz, not looking up from his book.

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“When I managed to regain consciousness I was in the backseat of a stolen police car with Damien in the front seat covered in blood and you standing outside of the car clutching an ice pick and screaming about lizard people. I still have the bullet wounds.”

Amira visibly winced at that memory, while she did score some brownie points with Damien it still wasn’t one of her finest moments. But she shook it off, she HAD to go to that party.

“Okay I admit it, things may have gotten a little out of hand that night. But that was trying to steal a panda from a zoo, this is just going to a fancy dance party there’s no way things will turn out like last time.” Amira replied.

Oz peered at her from behind his reading material. “Amira, you I love you like a sister and I’d be willing to help you with anything if you asked but honestly whenever you and Damien hang out, it always ends up spiraling out of control into sheer insanity and I always get caught up in the thick of it. I’m sorry but you’re just gonna have to someone else to go with you.”

Amira sighed and stood up. “Fine, I didn’t want to do this Oz. I really didn’t, but you leave me no choice.”

Amira took in a deep breath, steeled her nerves, and used a technique she had perfected back in middle school known simply as ‘the look’.

Oz tried to ignore it but it was extremely difficult with his friend doing it right in front of him, it only got even harder as she got closer to his face.

Oz’s fingers dug into the woven cover. ‘Must. fight. The look. Must. not. Give in.’

The shadow boy decided to face her directly to tell her to leave him alone but in doing so he made a serious tactical error and was exposed to the full force of ‘the look’, causing him to immediately cave.

“FINE! I’LL COME WITH YOU, JUST STOP GIVING ME THE LOOK!” Oz shouted, to which the djinn immediately dropped ‘the look’.

“Thanks Oz, you won’t regret it! Now get dressed, we gotta be there in a couple hours from now. You still have that yellow tux right?”

“Yeah yeah.” said the feeling as he walked upstairs, right then several of his phobias popped up and began to scold him for giving into Amira so easily complete with two shapeshifting into their likenesses to pantomime the event occurring

“Come on guys, give me a break here! You know how hard it is to say no to my friends when they really need me!”

The phobias just shook their heads in disapproval.

********************

You know who else was shaking their head in disapproval? The mother of a certain blue demon going by the name of Dahlia Aquino, and said demon was throwing a rather impassioned temper tantrum and trashing the current room she was in.

“But mom I don’t want to go to the stupid hell ball! I was going to go to the bloodsworn coliseum and fight for glory tonight!” complained Dahlia.

The larger female demon could only sigh. “Dahlia, darling I know you don’t hold much love in your heart for formal events such as this and I most certainly understand where you’re coming from. But if you want to successfully conquer the 8th circle of hell and dethrone the Laveys you have to learn some level of diplomacy so that not only will you have allies in your endeavor but also so that the other eight circles of hell will not come raining down upon you.”

“No way. I refuse to dress up and listen to old demons drone on about the glory days of hell for hours on end in a stuffy ballroom, and I ABSOLUTELY refuse to attend an event where I have to so much as pretend to be civil towards the Lavey family!” Dahlia shouted back with crossed arms.

“Fine.” Said Dahlia’s mother. “You don’t have to go to the hell ball-“

“HA! YES!”

“-if you’re okay with losing your armory privileges for the next month that is.”

Dahlia’s eyes widened so far it seemed as though they would pop out of her skull.

“Wait, what?!”

“Those are your choices sweetie. Either you attend the hell ball for a few hours and be polite, or you’re grounded from using any of your weapons for a whole month; which means no battle axes, no tridents, no swords, spears, or any other bladed or bludgeoning instruments for a whole month. What’s it going to be?”

Dahlia flopped back down to one of the chairs that had yet been reduced to splinters and grumbled in defeat.

“Okay, I’ll go to the stupid ball.”

“Thank you darling!” Exclaimed the elder of the two demons with a sickly sweet smile. “Now I expect you to be on your best behavior for tonight. The Aquinos don’t need any more rivals at the moment.”

Dahlia just huffed in response as she left to change into more formal wear.

********************

If you asked Oz, most of the stories told about hell were fairly exaggerated. It really wasn’t that bad place to be with majestic cliffs overlooking seas of lava and well-crafted gothic architecture everywhere you looked, it was kind of like an evil version of scotland.

Although there was the fact that it was hotter than death valley in the summer at high noon almost 24/7, the screams of the damned frequently cut through the air, and of course all the odd mannerisms of the local demons.

(especially with that new hotel that opened up in the 7th circle, hazmat hotel or something). 

But most of that stuff was somewhat bearable, the only problem Oz had currently was that he was being dragged down here to an event he had no interest nor business in going to so that one of his best friends could make goo-goo eyes at the local bad boy.

‘Curse my kindness.’ Oz thought to himself as the two of them pulled up to the lavey castle.

The two were quickly waved inside after Amira presented her invitation to the demon guard out front and found themselves walking down a long stone hallway with regal tapestries that commemorated the most significant events of the Lavey family: the conquering of the 8th circle of hell, the wedding of Damien’s fathers, Damien’s birth, Damien’s first steps, Damien’s first day of school...come to think of it this was essentially just a family photo album but on a grander scale.

“So.” Said Amira, breaking the silence. “Anyone catch your eye for prom yet?”

Oz facepalmed, of course they would bring this up again, ever since prom rolled around they wouldn’t shut up about getting dates.

Granted he couldn’t really blame them, prom was the biggest night of Spooky High that would make the difference between having a lifelong romance and dying alone and the color squad was determined to make it count; that was part of the reason the shadowman was here, Amira needed a wingman to get with Damien.

Brian and Vicky were also easily able to pick out their ideal dates, but unfortunately for Oz none of the monsters at school were really his ‘type’. 

“Amira please, don’t do this.” Said Oz.

“Don’t do what?” the djinn replied.

“Make this one of those plans where you try to get me laid again, I appreciate the effort but it’s completely unnecessary.”

“Well I wouldn’t have to if you would just try to put yourself out there, I mean there’s dozens of eligible girls out there for ya bud and they’d be lucky to have you.” Said Amira, pulling her friend close. “I don’t see why you don’t just go for it.”

Oz shrugged. “I just don’t see myself dating any of them, granted Polly and Miranda are kind of cute in their own way but they’re not the kind of girls I go for.”

“Ozzy…”

“Amira please, just leave it.”

The djinn sighed as she took her arm off of Oz’s shoulders.

“Fine, but can you promise me you’ll at least try to have fun tonight? I don’t want to you be that guy that stands in the corner the whole party, just cut loose for a change.”

“Okay, I’ll try. Oop, this looks like our stop.” said Oz as he pushed through a set of ballroom doors.

********************

**About 30 minutes later**

It was official, she HATED the hell ball.

Dahlia tugged at her collar and huffed in frustration as she waded through the crowd, hell bent on getting to the refreshment table.

This whole thing was just too ...civilized. 

There were no explosions going off, no brawls to be found, no talks of conquest or glory, just a room full of tempermental demons all pretending that they didn’t hate each other.

That last thing irked her the most, while it was true she hated the Lavey family with a burning passion the likes of which had never been seen before, at least she was honest about her animosity towards him, unlike the rest of the demon lords in attendance here.

She had gotten her hopes up that having so many short tempered individuals in one place at one time would spark a powder keg reaction that would lead to an all out brawl but that didn’t seem to be the case as all of them were more than willing to swallow their hatred to keep the peace going.

It was the most boring thing imaginable and it was only made worse by their horrible attempts at conversation.

‘So how’s the weather in the 9th circle?’

‘What’s it like back on earth?’

‘I have this son Alistor, he’s single…’

She nearly punched the guy that said the last one, which brings us to the here and now of dahlia lumbering through the crowd.

Politeness be damned, she was going to stand over by the bar, grab a stiff mead, and do her best impression of a statue until this was all over.

‘I swear to Satan if they have a non-alcoholic bar I am going to….’ Dahila’s inner monologe and thoughts of murder trailed off when she saw what was occupying one of the bar stools.

It looked to be some sort of shadow being with a decidedly male appearance and a scrawny build, his face was empty outside of two pure white eyes that seemed to almost glow against their black backdrop which went nicely with his messy hair (or at least that’s what she assumed was on top of his head; he was decked out in the most adorable yellow tux that fit him oh so well, but the thing that was most striking about him had to be the much smaller beings coming off of his form that seemed to be completely independent from the being himself.

In short, she thought he was attractive and made the decision to start up a conversation with him as she stalked closer.

Sadly the shadow man hopped off the stool he had been formerly occupying and walked out to the balcony, just as Dahlia arrived too.

But Dahlia Aquino wasn’t a quitter.

“One spiced mead, whatever’s good” Dahlia gruffly said to the bartender, slamming her fist down on the bar top for emphasis.

She’d follow him out to the balcony, seduce him with her feminine charm, and well...I think you all know what comes next.

********************

Oz sucked in the warm crisp air of hell, a vast contrast to the moldy, stale air within the ballroom.

The entire balcony was, thankfully, vacant. Which gave Oz some much needed peace and quiet.

Well apart from the screams of the damned emanating from the pits of lava below, but the fear that was produced as a result of such suffering had somewhat of a calming effect on Oz, being a creature of fear and all.

Amira had ditched him within moments of the two of them arriving at the party, leaving Oz all alone to awkwardly meander around the party like a friendless loner and observe conversations from a distance. It wasn’t a great set-up but at least it was tolerable enough that he didn’t have to go and hide.

Until the succubi and incubi started hitting on him with the clear intention of stealing his life force and/or getting back at their parents as young lustful demons do. Which warranted a trip to the bar and then to the barren balcony which he currently stood on, free from any of the social anxiety he had been forced to endure moments ago.

“Hello there sexy, what brings you to the 8th circle?” Said a decidedly feminine voice.

‘Oh for fucks sake.’ Oz thought to himself, assuming a succubus had followed him out there.

But when he turned toward the direction of the voice, with the intent of politely but firmly telling them to leave, he was not met with the sight of a scantily dressed stick bug demon who was eyeing his throat like a predatory cat; but rather a massive blue demoness with bulging muscles that looked ready to rip free from the formal wear that complimented her eyes perfectly, long white hair pulled into a ponytail, and a seductive smile pointed at him.

Oz suddenly found himself with a dry throat and a set of pants that were quickly becoming tighter in a certain area.

A few phobias popped up from his shoulders and tried to motivate him to say something, anything!

“A-A-Amazon.” Oz sputtered out.

‘Smooth Oz! Really smooth!’ Oz screamed at himself in his head as his phobias similarly face palmed.

But Dahlia only chuckled. “An Amazon Huh? Can’t say I’ve heard that one before but I’m flattered.”

“Sorry. You just surprised me, I-I’m Oz.” the fearling replied extending his arm for a handshake only to find it swiftly engulfed by Dahlia’s much larger hands.

“Dahlia Aquino, Damien Lavey’s sworn rival and future ruler of the eighth circle of hell!”

Oz had to take a few steps back when the buff demon released his arms from the sheer force behind the handshake, only to get shoved forwards once again as Dahlia pulled his head right between her-

‘Oh sweet Jesus.’ Oz thought to himself, near ready to faint from embarrassment as he felt himself being smothered by two rather large assets.

“So now that introductions are out of the way, how about we ditch this boring party and head back to my place and ...get to know each other a little better.” Said Dahlia with a rather lewd tone on the last words.

Oz barely managed to free himself from Dahlia’s grip and shove himself away, putting distance between him and the amorous demon and tried to organize the hurricane of thoughts swirling around in his head.

On the one hand, Dahlia fit his niche tastes completely and she was basically propositioning him, his thirst willed him to accept her offer.

On the other hand, the more moral one, sleeping with a girl he had just met at a party just because he felt physically attracted to her felt kind of...sleazy, and that just wasn’t his style.

But Oz never really got the chance to ponder this offer as before he could get so much as a word out, a portly demon came crashing through the glass doors to the balcony and slammed against the handrail, shattering it upon impact and sending him falling to his death.

The two remaining monsters looked at each other with varying levels of confusion and befuddlement before looking inside at the commotion in the ballroom that had somehow gone unnoticed by both of them.

Within the span of just a few minutes, the entire party had gone from a calm affair to an all out brawl.

Everywhere you looked there was explosions and demons getting thrown into other demons. It was pure chaos.

And standing at the top of the melee like a king and queen of this mayhem, was Amira Rashid and Damien Lavey who were flinging fireballs and knives into the crowd respectively while laughing in unison.

So in other words, it was another average night with those two.

Dahlia didn’t say anything, she just let out a girlish squeal followed by a loud battle cry as she leapt into the fray and started punching indiscriminately.

Oz on the other hand only bowed his head and sighed, he would have returned to his drink but it had been knocked off the balcony along with that large demon.

Instead Oz decided to simply lean against the remnants of the handrail and watch the battle from a safe distance, he wasn’t that much of a confrontationalist to begin with and Amira could handle herself in a situation like this, especially when Damien was backing her up.

Unfortunately, her boldness wasn’t quite up to par to deal with a situation like this.

A rather sneaky demon managed to sneak up behind Amira and smash a folding chair over the back of her head, sending the poor djinn sprawling into the crowd where she disappeared into a mess of fists and horns.

More unfortunately, Damien seemed to be completely oblivious to this development, having been completely consumed by the thrill of battle.

Oz saw this entire thing go down and just stared in horror before rushing into the crowd with the intent to get his bestie out of there come hell or high water.

He made it pretty far initially considering most of the attendees were too busy beating the crap out of each other to pay any attention to the shadowman weaving through their various brawls, but eventually one of them took notice of Oz and grabbed onto his arm, Forcing the poor shadow boy to sprout a tendril from his back and slap the demon so hard they went spinning like a top.

Being an eldritch being comprised of fear had it’s perks after all.

But as Oz got deeper into the crowd and more and more demons started to take notice of him and tried to take him down, making it harder and harder to move through the masses. 

Eventually he started losing ground as more and more devils started ganging up on him, Oz fought back the best he could but it wasn’t enough to stand up against the overwhelming force he was facing.

It wasn’t until he saw Amira’s unconscious form; battered, bruised, and bloody, get dragged into the swell of the crowd, that he reached his limit.

Now Oz doesn’t really consider himself to be a very violent monster, prefering to just talk things out and avoid fighting entirely, really it takes a whole lot to send him into a fit of rage.

However, one of the few things that will instantly cause the fearling to go on a full on rampage, is seeing one of his best friends in life-threatening danger, like Amira was right now.

“ENOUGH!!!” Oz boomed, the shear force of his voice causing several of the demons pummeling him to stumble back in surprise. 

Oz’s form quickly began to grow in size as did his phobias, becoming far more imposing than they were before, until he was a writhing mass of shadow. 

All at once he surged forward like a tidal wave, engulfing several demons unlucky enough to get caught in his path while sending several more running for their lives.

As the eldritch beast formerly known as Oz trailed across the dance floor, he left a trail of defeated demons in his wake, Damien soon spotted the giant monster heading towards him.

(Given even with the raging battle it would be hard to miss a giant eldritch horror)

He was bold, but he wasn’t an idiot and knew that taking on something that looked like it had just crawled out of the void itself would probably end very badly for him and decided it was time he made a fashionable exit from the party.

Unfortunately he wasn’t quick enough as Oz grabbed him by the leg with one of his tentacles and flung him against the wall like a ragdoll.

Soon enough Oz found and subsequently scooped up his fallen friend, safely storing her inside his own shadowy mass before escaping through one of the large windows in the room despite the fact that the doors were only a couple of feet beside said window.

With the exit of those two monsters, the party more or less came to an end as Oz had single handedly wiped out most of the demonic brawlers to the point where there wasn’t enough left standing to keep the fight going.

All the remaining partygoers could do was shamefully collect their wounded and leave the party, already planning on how to recover from such an embarrassment.

But one demon in particular wasn’t in a hurry to leave, mainly because she was completely stupefied by what she had just witnessed.

‘He’s not only cute but also a fierce warrior capable of laying waste to hundreds of foes at once in such a glorious fashion?’ Dahlia thought to herself as her mouth hung open. ‘I. MUST. HAVE. HIM.’

********************

Amira murmured slightly in her sleep as Oz gently tucked her into her bed, bandage wrapped around her head and aspirin on her nightstand to treat a very likely headache for the coming morning.

Vicky and Brian still hadn’t gotten home yet, Oz could only assume that they were still hanging out with their respective crushes; and with Amira currently out of commissioncommission, Oz pretty much had the whole house to himself for the time being.

The fearling slumped back on the couch and took in a deep breath, rescuing his friend or not, he really hated losing control of himself like that.

It wasn’t who he was and it wasn’t the kind of monster he wanted to be.

Oz’s internal monologue was cut short by a series of booming knocks coming from the front door, immediately making the fearling worried; he did just come from a massive brawl, he wouldn’t be surprised if a few demons had followed him home for a second round but he really hoped that wasn’t the case.

Looking through the peephole was useless as whoever was on the other side seemed to be covering it, forcing Oz to improvise.

He moved his hand to the crack at the bottom of the door and sent one of his phobias down the extended limb, it stretched out and squeezed through the crack under the door, after a few seconds the phobia returned and gave Oz a big thumbs up, signifying that it was indeed okay to open the door.

But upon doing so, he was met with about 8 feet of blue demon muscle.

“OZ!” Boomed Dahlia, grabbing Oz into another spine snapping hug.

“What the- dahlia?!” Oz wheezed as all of the air was squeezed out of his body.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were such a fierce warrior?!” The demon exclaimed. “If we fought side by side as allies, nobody would be able to stop us!”

“um...I-I think you’re mistaken, also you’re crushing me.”

Finally Dahlia dropped Oz back on his feat, allowing some much needed air to return to his form.

“What? But I saw you back at the hell ball, you were a magnificent beast of combat and aggression! I could use more soldiers like you.”

“But I don’t want to be a soldier, I just want to be me.” Oz replied. 

“But...you’re so scrawny and that horror form was so powerful, why would you-”

“Because that’s not who I am anymore.” the eldritch being said, cutting the demon princess off “Look, there’s a very specific reason I don’t use that form very often, a reason that is related to my tragic past and backstory not to mention my ‘bloodline’.”

“Really? What happened?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Because the devs are still writing my secret routes from Monster Prom reverse, if you want to hear about my tragic backstory you’ll just have to wait until the game comes out like everyone else.”

Dahlia just looked at Oz with an extremely confused expression.

“Oh right, you’re not a player character, you can’t break the fourth wall. Look just don’t worry about it, the point is that I’m not a fighter, I’m just Oz.”

Dahlia pursed her lips together. “Hmmm, well that’s disappointing, I was hoping to gain a powerful new ally in my war against the Lavey family. Oh well, at least I can get a lover.”

Oz blushed “beg your pardon?”

“You never gave me an answer back at the hell ball my sexy little black liquorice stick, how about you and I go somewhere private and rut like beasts!”

‘Dear god she’s almost as thirsty as I am.’ Oz thought to himself.

“Uh...how about we get to know each other better first, like in a non-sexual way?”

Dahlia seemed to almost immediately deflate on the spot. “okay fine, mind if I come in?”

********************

The small shadow man and the gigantic demon woman were now situated in the former’s kitchen area, a cup of steaming tea in each of their hands.

Surprisingly, Dahlia was actually somewhat of a tea connoisseur. 

The two of them just started going back and forth on various questions about one another; hobbies, favorite foods, and kill, marry, fuck with their classmates. Just standard casual conversation.

As it turned out, there was so much more to Dahlia Aquino than just simple conquest and workouts.

For starters she absolutely adored superheroes, with the Wonder Twins holding a special place within her heart; when she wasn’t plotting damien’s demise or maxing the pump at the gym, dahlia could often times be found at the local comic shop or cosplaying at comic con.

Dahlia also loved to mentor others so that they themselves could become as strong as her, even going so far as to work in a ‘big sister’ program where she taught young monsters useful life skills such as one hundred different ways to break an opponent's arm in combat.

(granted she did tend to go a bit overboard in said lessons but it got results nonetheless)

Behind all that muscle, intensity, and hatred for Damien Lavey; lay a friendly, loyal girl who just wanted to give it her all into anything she attempted no matter how insignificant it was.

It was almost admirable, in a way.

But somehow, the conversation eventually shifted over to that of a more romantic nature.

“So he really drop kicked Leonard across the football field just to impress Zoe?” said Dahlia.

“Oh yeah you should have seen it, he was still screaming as he flew over the bleachers. It was hilarious.” Replied Oz with a smile, barely holding back laughter at the thought of the event.

“You’ll have to introduce me to him sometimes, he sounds like a worthy sparring opponent with that much strength.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Dahlia took another gulp of her tea. “So if I have this right: Brian has Zoe, Vicky has Vera, and Amira has Damien?”

Oz nodded.

“So where does that leave you? Who are you pursuing for prom?”

“Well...nobody really.” Oz replied, tracing the rip of his mug. “None of the girls at school are really my type.”

“So you like guys then?”

“oh no, no, no, I’m not gay; I’ve done plenty of testing with Scott.”

Dahlia raised an eyebrow at that.

“I tricked him into kissing me by telling him it was a tongue exercise.” Oz clarified.

“Ah I see.”

“But yeah, I’m not attracted to men and while most of the girls at school are cute none of them are really what I’m into.”

“So what kinds of girls are you into then?”

Oz grew silent and looked down into the dark liquid of his cup.

“I-I really don’t want to say it’s...kind of embarrassing.”

“Oh come on, how bad could it be?”

Oz sucked in a breath. “Okay, promise not to laugh?”

“Promise.”

Taking a large swig of his tea, Oz blurted out after a brief pause. “I like large girls.”

“What?”

“I mean not like thick girls like the leader of the coven, I mean like large, muscular girls that tower over me like an amazon queen. I know it sounds weird but I’d like a huge girl that could pin me down to the bed and have her way with me, in a consensual way of course. It just makes me-”

Oz tapered off the flow of feelings that were coming out of him when he noticed that the chair Dahlia was occupying was now empty and the mug she was drinking out of had been left abandoned.

The fearling slammed his head down on the table and groaned in frustration.

‘Nice one. You scared her away, and we were getting along so well too.’

“Sorry about that, had to freshen up a bit.” said Dahlia.

Oz’s head snapped back up and whipped around to see Dahlia standing in the doorway.

“Y-you’re still here?”

“Well yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well it’s just that- w-woah!” Oz said as dahlia lifted him up and slung him over her shoulder. “W-what are you doing?!”

“Look Oz, I’ve got a thing for cute skinny guys like you and you’ve got a thing for strong and muscular girls like me. We’re both clearly attracted to each other, so how about we have one night of intense passion together and see where things go from there? Maybe go out on a dinner date tomorrow, I know a great swedish buffet hall across town.” The blue demon said with a smile.

“Oh, o-okay s-sure!” 

On that note, Dahlia carried Oz off into his room, slamming the door behind them. Soon enough the sounds of a bed squeaking in protest at the amount of weight put upon it mixed in with intense moans of pleasure from both monsters.

It was a wonderful night for both of them.

********************

“And when we woke up in the morning, I couldn’t feel my legs. Which is why Dahlia’s been carrying me around all day.” Said Oz, finishing up his tale while sitting in the lap of the demon in question.

The three other monsters at the table just stared at him in silence for a brief moment before Brian was the first one to speak up.

“Dahlia huh? Not the kind of girl I thought you’d be into but I’ll still happy for ya dude.” said the zombie.

“Does this mean you’ll stop hitting on me from now on?” asked Liam.

“I’m sorry Liam, but now that I’m with Oz I’m no longer interested in you, I know you have been holding out for me for a while but I’ve moved on and it’s just not going to happen. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

“I’m sure I’ll manage.” said Liam before adding under his breath “thank you Oz.”

“Well the Liahlia ship is officially sunk, Oz x Dahlia for the win! Now then-“ Zoe quickly pulled out one of her MANY notebooks out of one of her MANY mouths. “-Can we get back to the part where Oz brought out his tentacles? I need fuel for my spank bank.”

“Sure! So there I was, riding Oz like a raging direbear when I saw that these lumps had started growing out of his back….”

**Author's Note:**

> gotta get them MP crack ships baby!
> 
> *edit* I got fanart!!!: https://vanilla0chinchilla.tumblr.com/post/626004375068901376/some-fanart-for-a-friends-fic-also-read-his


End file.
